Touché, Universe

I asked to go on an adventure, keen to experientially learn about alternative modalities for treating illness;and that is truly what I have received.

Clearly, it has NOT been ten days since last I wrote, but here I am.  The first full day began with extreme sensations of nausea and drowsiness, feelings commonly associated with prolonged meditation, and a slightly uncomfortable itch around my shoulders without any sign of irritation on my skin.  The helper girl (known in the center as a "dhamma worker") said to me smiling, "I think it must be working."  Then the first expressions of red spots appeared and my mind jumped to all sorts of possibilities...bed bugs? scabies??  I've tried to be careful but HAVE slept in a couple of questionable arrangements since leaving my family in Panchkula...maybe I'm allergic to the Ayurvedic formulas I'm taking for girardia?

Though Vipassana is a silent retreat in nearly every sense, one is allowed to speak if need be to the few dhamma workers and with the female 'teacher.' A male and female teacher/master-meditator sit meditating in front of the respective gender groups of meditating students throughout the day.  From the hours of noon and one and after each meditation session, students are given the opportunity to ask questions one-on-one.  Everything must first be approved by teacher before it can be executed.  When I first brought up my itching predicament, she advised me to stop taking the Ayurvedic preparations (which I initially had to ask if I could take) and to ask one of the workers for "prickly ash" (which turned out to  caladryl lotion), so I did.  But the bumps and itching just became worse.  My only solace was that the quality of their appearance as they evolved and increase/decrease in severity associated with temperature signified that it was at least not scabies or bed bugs. 

When I finally showed the dhamma worker helping me a section of the bumps on my skin, she started getting more concerned and actually called teacher to my room to have a look.  Teacher, with deep concentration but calm said, "ah, we call this 'pit' [an ayurvedic term, 'pitta']. It is when to much heat and cold conflict in the body.  She must take in cool foods. Oranges. Amla." She also told the dhamma worker it would be good if a Tibetan doctor could come up.  When I explained what an anti-histamine was, she thought this would be a positive thing too. 

But just because one of the teachers approves something doesn't necessarily mean it will happen.  The manager of the center reported to me via the dhamma worker that a doctor would not be allowed in the vicinity and they could not provide me with the anti-histimine because they were not doctors.  Amla was not on sight and oranges had only been offered with one meal. My only choice was to stay or leave by the time I'd spent 4 nights because at noon on that day, the actual Vipassana initiation would take place.

Even without having taken part in a Vipassana meditation retreat, it is not difficult to recognize the ridiculousness of the situation: waking at 4am after minimal sleep from constant itching with no relief; sitting approximately 9 hours a day, itching; remembering that a parasite called girardia is currently inhabiting my large intestine, happy as can be, no longer being eradicated with an external substance.

Who knows...

Was it an extreme psychosomatic reaction to the meditation? My body on a physical level ridding its self of deeply-rooted poisons of the mind?

Was it my body-intelligence screaming to me, "get the hell out of here you crazy fool! What do you think you are doing, following so strictly the code-of-discipline of someone else? I rebel!"

Or was it that egg  or peanut I ate the day before coming? Or the Ayurvedic medicine, which everyone says has no side effects?

Regardless, after much internal deliberation and another night of near sleeplessness, the bumps only increasing in severity, I knew I must leave. Teacher was encouraging of this choice, just telling me to "go and get well", thanking me for coming. 

As I walked down the mountain into town to the doctor, there was no question that a mutation of mind state had occurred, even in only four days.  Sometimes it takes being placed against a familiar pattern to detect your alteration in shade, so to speak. Although fairly blissful, it is a curious experience as the ultimate truth that Vipassana and Buddhism in general teaches is the core sameness of it all, the lack of distinction and equality of all things.  I suppose this sentiment came a bit later, once the initial and drastic change in environment began wearing off.

I first went to the near-by Tibetan doctor where  I was directed into a room with a woman who was speaking Tibetan  almost angrily into the phone.  This continued for the next ten-minutes or so (though I decided it was more forceful than actually angry) until she finally put down the phone, looking up and smiling at me. "Yes, what do you want?" I showed her patches of my body while going over my experience thus far with the meditation, ayurvedic medicine, etc. In very broken English she said "ohh yeesss, bad itch itch" making pained expressions on her face and scratching motions on her body to show me she knew what I was going through.  "You get medicine. Go to chemist. Feel better. This itch, itch...no good." She negated my idea of taking Tibetan medicines, saying they take a long time.  She opened up a big book of clients in front of me, gesturing towards the ones who also had allergies like this, some often and some irregular like mine.  It seemed from our communication that those with chronic allergies take the Tibetan medication and those with severe outbreaks like mine she refers to the chemist [basic small pharmacies that abound in India, including mostly allopathic and some 'conventional natural' products].

So I walk to the counter and do exactly what I spoke against in my last entry; I buy myself a nice little package of white tablets. Thank you Montelukast and Levocetirizine!

I later made my way to the same Ayurvedic doctors' office, this time meeting with a woman whom I much preferred.  She assured me that there was absolutely no way it was the Ayurvedic medicines  that caused my reaction and told me it was a good thing I left because I needed to continue with the parasite formula. She guessed my reaction was stimulated by an egg. People who don't typically have sensitivities to eggs, for instance, can have allergic reactions  upon consuming eggs here. She advised me to take the anti-histimine and drink plenty of fluids.  When I informed her I was actually here to explore Ayurvedic medicine, she said that she would be happy to talk with me more at length if I returned in a couple of days.

~

What was it? Taking a theoretical Ayurvedic perspective, it was each and every possibility listed previously.  It was a disturbance of my 'doshic balance,' which includes mind, body and spirit.  So currently, I am tending to each of these with patient sensitivity.

for those others with hives...

Ayurvedic/Alyson's Topical and Internal Alleviates for Hives

ghee mixed with black pepper

baking soda with water

cold water 

eating cilantro, oranges (all fruits), oats

calendula and anti-septic herbal oil

not too spicy foods